On YouTube I watched a young woman, a mother, a Muslim, an American speak about the power of love bursting forth from her heart in the face of the injustice around her. She exclaimed a willingness to lay down her life for another as she would so for her young children.
Unapologetic and relentless love.
It wasn’t Love’s face of gentleness, quiet and hidden; it was the fierce voice of strength, power and selflessness in and through Love. What Love was doing with her words quieted my busy mind and gave me hope and strength. I began to think about the dance of love and hope and how it plays out in my work.
In early childhood we make silent, personal decisions to survive under the harshest of circumstances. These choices are based on our need for hope, hope to be eventually loved. This hope becomes our slender lifeline to love. Much of the self can be sacrificed in the bargain.
But we survive.
In one’s rediscoveries in life, it is through the light and strength of Love where this confused, familiar hope can be set down for new inspiration. This inner challenge is vast, imperative to be taken and perhaps the harder battle to be fought.
Over time we travel the path of letting go. It’s hard. It takes time and patience and lots of compassion, support and awareness to feel progress. Inspirations that come or are offered too quickly- like action steps or affirmations or even logic only take us so far in fully and safely meeting the struggle- the untruths.
Hope clings to us and can sound like: I will be loved if I am quiet, I will be loved if I impress you with my excellence, I will be loved if I can just do it right, look right, speak right, I will be loved if I act like you have to take care of me.
Our journey no matter how far afield to love is a sign of how rooted in life the need for love is. It is our center.
It does not always happen, but when a client is moving over the bridge Love makes into the fullness of the present moment, distinct from the past, there is a huge audible sigh.
A felt exhalation.
At the end of this exhalation a treasure house of possibilities obscured within the held breath of the past, simply opens. Like a vessel pouring her contents out, the client awaits a refilling into the breadth of herself. She does not create the return, only the willingness to exhale, let go, wake up. Inspiration then happens physically with an intake of new air rooting the deeper truths capable of being realized in the moment.
And it is so obvious when this happens. The face softens, emotions can emerge, the brow spreads into a depth of quiet. There is a palpable receptivity to inspiration/truth that is both profound and sacred to witness. It feels like a coming home.
To get here is to feel enough pain, watch enough patterns cause suffering and slowly, gently enter a path of giving up an ancient hope that was sustaining walls, not bridges.
In that space at the end of a full exhalation or when my brow is planted on the prayer mat I am sometimes blessed with the phrase:
“I am in Love- Love is in me. I am in God- God is in me.”
My mind knows Love and God are interchangeable, but my body and heart need to be watered in the felt reality.
The mystery of Love is very hopeful. Love in all Her faces and qualities; fierce and gentle.
May we all be watered well and drink.